I never thought I would do this, but the pain I'm feeling inside is just too much for me to bear. I cannot keep it, I cannot hold it any longer... and this is what I have to say.
It's 2:49 a.m. I'm not able to put myself to sleep, no matter how much tossing and turning I made in bed. For everytime I closed my eyes, the thoughts of you and the memories of us together came vividly into my head. Do you still remember the time when we faced each other, and I talked to you until we both fell asleep? Do you still remember the time when I kissed you relentlessly the moment you were handed over to me, saying how much I had missed you? Do you still remember the times when we watched television and played "Come!"? Do you still remember the times when we looked out the window and I showed you the world beyond your cage, beyond my house?
I still do remember... every facet of the reminiscences of the brief period we had. And I will treasure everything of you as long as I shall live.
Did I not tell you to hang on? Did I not tell you that I wanted you to stay healthy and be strong? Did I not tell you that I wished to see you grow up? And did I not tell you that I would never, ever forgive myself if you died?
For the truth is, baby, I cannot forgive myself. I cannot let go of this enormous guilt within me for what you had gone through before your last breath. You were such a darling, my baby. You did not deserve it. My heart shattered into pieces knowing that you were hurting, and knowing nothing I could do to help you ease your suffering. And my heart broke all over again looking at you looking at me when the Almighty Lord decided it was time for you to be by His side.
It's 2:49 a.m. I'm not able to put myself to sleep, no matter how much tossing and turning I made in bed. For everytime I closed my eyes, the thoughts of you and the memories of us together came vividly into my head. Do you still remember the time when we faced each other, and I talked to you until we both fell asleep? Do you still remember the time when I kissed you relentlessly the moment you were handed over to me, saying how much I had missed you? Do you still remember the times when we watched television and played "Come!"? Do you still remember the times when we looked out the window and I showed you the world beyond your cage, beyond my house?
I still do remember... every facet of the reminiscences of the brief period we had. And I will treasure everything of you as long as I shall live.
Did I not tell you to hang on? Did I not tell you that I wanted you to stay healthy and be strong? Did I not tell you that I wished to see you grow up? And did I not tell you that I would never, ever forgive myself if you died?
For the truth is, baby, I cannot forgive myself. I cannot let go of this enormous guilt within me for what you had gone through before your last breath. You were such a darling, my baby. You did not deserve it. My heart shattered into pieces knowing that you were hurting, and knowing nothing I could do to help you ease your suffering. And my heart broke all over again looking at you looking at me when the Almighty Lord decided it was time for you to be by His side.
Photo: I'll be a good girl, baby, just like you were. For I hope to see you again... but this time, in Heaven.Goodbye, Caramel - my baby, my pet, my angel.
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